relationship status: just tried to reach for my dog’s paw and he pulled it away so i...

judge: “i sentence you to the maximum punishment…” me (thinking): “please be death, please be death…” judge:...

“can i tell you a tcp joke?” “please tell me a tcp joke.” “ok, i’ll tell you...

debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer at the...

“knock, knock.” “who’s there?” “java.”